XoAmy

Cause your my ex, and we started talking and flirting again.. You lead me on.. My feelings didn’t change. and you took that for granted and thats what hurts the most.. The way that you said “after you get your greens from me tomorrow no more texting” It hurts so much.. why? why would you even say that to me? It clearly states tha fact that you don’t give to fucks about me. I thought it was you.. that you were gonna be the one and the last but I guess that was just a “THOUGHT” anyways.. to bad, I didn’t get to play the game that you played with me. You won & I lost. I love you so much.. It’s so hard to let go of all the memories that we had and shared for eachother. Why only think about yourself? :( I got used to the feeling of having you by myside. I’m so used to the feeling of sleeping in your arms. but.. you didn’t do that just for me. you did it to them too. you had sex with so much girls.. it hurts :( yet I still took you whole heartedly.. I need someone who cares, I need someone better :( better than you eventually. I LOVE YOU. SO MUCH. But I can’t take it anymore.. It came form you na.. “After this no more talking” IT FUCKING HURTS. I can’t wait to leave for Fremont. I need a fucking break. even for just a short while.

I don’t know why I’m still holding on, when all you did was hurt me all along.. It’s like theres no point in holding on anymore.. I don’t wanna keep thinking or even expect that everything will be just like before.. But everytime I think about giving up.. the thought of “Think about why you held on for so long” I held on because I love you, but thats not the only reason. I want to.. get your life on the right track.. I wanna be with you through it all I wanna face all the problems that coming our way with you and I don’t want you to face your problems by your self I wanna be there for you.. I wanna go through all that with you. I tried to love other guys, but nothing I repeat nothing will ever go up top to how much I love you. You’ve hurt me so much.. and look? I haven’t left. I’m still here for you.

For a FACT :

I know that we can never be together again, because.. I’ll only hurt myself by making that decision I already know. I’m scared of being played and cheated on again.. not taking for granted though. cause your ALREADY doing that now. We changed.. I became stronger.. you? It’s like I don’t even know you anymore now. Why change to a completely different person? I miss the old you. But here I am still loving you for who you are. Thats how much I love you, why can’t you feel and see that?

What a great way to start my morning. Throwing up what I drank last night hahahahahaha. I feel like complete a shit, but so much better now. Stupid Tequila. 

It’s 4am in the morning, and I still can’t sleep. I’ve been sleeping like this since last week. I miss you.. I miss sleeping in your arms. I miss hearing your voice before I sleep.. I miss the last face I see when I close my eyes, and the face I see when I open them. I miss your sweet long kisses and your warm tight hugs. But most importantly I miss you :( I badly wanna forgive you but I just can’t my pride won’t go down. YEAH I KNOW “You and your fucking pride” </3 I just can’t forget all the shit that you did to me. Asdfghjkl; College is starting in a month. and your leaving soon, well moving to Angeles :( Ahhhshit. 

I think it is better if you move…. but I will surely miss you.. Hon..

Anyways… 

One of the fucking glue on my retainers fucking fell off and it’s pissing the shit outta me, I can’t talk properly AGAIN. DAFUQ? I have to sit and open my damn mouth and have the fucking dentist push my teeth badly to fucking put the damn wire and glue again tomorrow well later. Ugh. I JUST WANNA SLEEP ALL DAY </3

Finally made up my mind, I’m going to Lyceum and taking up “Bachelor in Science Information Technology” Since its in demand NOW and In the near future! <”: Enrolling next week since Class starts in June, 13 =))))

COLLEGE LIFE BREGGY.

Nigga, college is starting soon.. And I’m so not ready, I wanna go back in highschool :c Would it still be the same? I’m scared. haha =)

I mean like I have GOOD ASS GRADES THOUGH, But I feel like I can’t keep up with my grades in George Dewey that shits gonna be so hard cause if I do go to that school I’m taking up “Radiologist” or “MedTech” as my course but if I go to lyceum I’ll take ” Information Technologist” Ohmygod It’s so hard to decide. One more week and I’ll make up my mind. 

HELLO FUTURE.

Knowing that you guys are together seriously breaks my heart, how could you? I thought we we’re friends. When Camille told me earlier I didn’t know what to say, how to react. I wanted to cry, but I didn’t I wanted them to see that I didn’t care nor it affected me, but it seriously did. It FUCKING HURTS. So I just smiled and said “Let’s take shots” It hurts. It seriously hurts… and knowing that when he says sorry to me, his with you. That just makes me so mad. 

We’re threw. but other than that, I had such a fun amazing ass APRIL 21 with my friends <”: No shit they celebrated 21 with me. hahaha :) I LOST ONE FRIEND, BUT GAINED MANY <3

Theres no reason for me to be sad, theres alot of people that makes me happy anyways. 

(Source: xoamymamy)

Missing someone from your past is like leafing through old pages of a book. We get to reminisce every single moment that had happened in our life when we were still with that someone. Sometimes, it makes us weep like a child because for some instance, we regret things we’ve done. Those things and feelings that we should have said leave us speechless. Nonetheless, as much as we urge to get back everything, we have no option but to face the reality. The reality that time machines doesn’t exist.

Those sweet messages, those special gifts, and those exceptional memories are just proofs that not everything changes. Feelings may fade, but nothing could ever blow away memories.

(Source: xoamymamy)

I woke up for the 5th time today with a long apology mesg from you. Last night, and everyday though you send me shit. Sad to say I will never forgive you, you piece of shit. 

(Source: xoamymamy)

New hair color, I dyed my hair yesterday and now it’s supposedly dark ash blonde :3 I wanna bleach my hair so bad again, yet I don’t want it to die and be really really dry again, like last year. It’s in the perfect condition right now. <//3 urge. 

FREMONT THOUGH, I’ll be going back to fremont on October. Yuck hahaha jkay :) But yeauh I’m starting 1st semester of college here and go to fremont to fix shit. 

(Source: xoamymamy)